Till we meet again

If somebody asks me about my love life, I will say, "Just imagine a straight line that doesn't have an end. It has no ups or downs or drama at all. Well, at least until now."

Yeah, my love life has never been like romance novels or whatever I love to read and watch. It is really believable if you ever meet me in real life.
1. I won't say that I'm fat or overweight, because it is an opinion. The fact is I am 63 kg (the last time I weigh myself) and my height is around 153 cm. So, you can decide.
2. I don't pay much attention to my appearance. My hair is messy, my everyday clothes are t-shirt and jeans (or shorts), acne, no make up, etc.
3. I can live a day or a week maybe, without my phone. Due to the lack of messages or calls I received, which most of it are from my female friends and my parents.
4. I don't even use any internet package for my smartphone. Yes, I am Stichi, stingy chinese (no, it is not racism).

Okay, stop talking about me. Let's go back to my love life.
My first crush is a boy in my kindergarten. But please don't take it seriously because it's just because we were best friends. Nah, he is not my first crush.
Actually, I don't really remember who is my first crush. Haha

Let's just start with JHS love life time.
I liked A, then he liked another girl and asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes. I felt sad for a week, lol, before I liked B. B liked another girl, I thought that I had no chance, there, I let go. Another sad week, but there's him. Whom I call '83' or 'jayus' when I talk about him with my friends. These posts are containing things about him :
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

If you read all of it, you will know that I had tried to forget him and move on. But it failed. Now, I would like to continue the story.

You might say I am a coward and I think that's true. After I had an android smartphone that have many social media apps, I didn't have the courage to add him even though I knew his ID. When I had some free time, I searched his ID and saw his profile picture. The end. That's it. Pathetic.

I was afraid that he would not recognize me and left my messages unread. That would really hurt me.

A few months ago, I promised to my friend that I would add his ID if I lost some weight. She asked, "When will that happen?" I said, "On May." It's June and I'm still 63 kg so I shouldn't add him.

But I did. At first, it is because my parents wanted to run a restaurant yet they found some difficulties. I remembered that my friend told me that his mother had her own restaurant. Then I tried to pluck up my courage by saying to myself things like : "He is not your future husband." "You will find another guy that is much more perfect than him." "You are just friends and everything will be alright if he doesn't reply. You are going to university and there is where you will meet your soulmate." "YOLO.", and those worked well.

I added his Line, I chatted him, HE REPLIED, and so on.

Btw, it ended up I knew that his mother doesn't run any restaurant. ._.

The next chat, we talked so much and I realized that he was becoming more perfect than before. Everything I want for my future husband is in him. Patient, friendly, independent, would do the chores, humble, and many more. At first, I was happy that I fell for the right guy, not a useless or bad boy. On the next thought, I was depressed. I like the right guy, but I seemed to be the wrong person for him. He is right, yet I am a fault.

Another thing in my mind, I am not sure if I still like him. I used to be so happy and smile every time we chatted years ago, now I am not. Okay, I smiled a little. However, my heart doesn't beat as fast as it did in the past.

I think, maybe this feeling is like when I see a really beautiful dress that I can't try in the fitting room. It is dazzling and fascinating. The only problem is, I am not sure that it will fit me perfectly and still look beautiful when I wear it. It is the dress in my dreams though I doubted it was made for me. Should I change myself the way I think will fit the dress or should I search for another dress?

I chose the first.


To you, 
Till we meet again, I hope to be one step closer to you.

August 18th 2017
I have reread this post. And honestly, I am a bit confused with Stephanie who wrote those sentences. Why did I feel so inferior? Why did I put myself under other person? Or why did I put him above me as if he is a king? I am awesome too. Not yet a great person, but I know I can be one. Though I don't really know the good things in me, I believe that I am attractive enough (at least the mosquitos bite me many times. So I think I am attractive to mosquitos, right?)
I think I don't like him anymore. I even forget the reason why I liked him. Well I remember that he was kind and seemed to be perfect (just because he did the chores...) But, hey, after living in Japan for almost two years, everyone do the chores. So it is a very common thing. When I read this post on May or June, I thought that this post is kinda disgusting. LOL. After all, we don't talk anymore. So yeah, why should I care that much about a person who doesn't even think about me? Then, I decided to find another guy.  You are right, Telz. Thanks for the comment.

Sonder

Tiba-tiba

Tiba-tiba aku sudah SMA
Pergi subuh
Pulang sore

Tiba-tiba aku sudah kelas sebelas ipa
Tidak ada lagi ekonomi, sosiologi dan kawan-kawannya
Yang ada hanya MaFiA Biologi

Tiba-tiba aku sudah kelas dua belas
Tahun terakhir di SMA
Waktunya mencari 'rumah' baru

Tiba-tiba pelajaran tambahan dan praktikum dimulai
Kami pulang semakin sore
Ditambah macet yang memperparah

Tiba-tiba kami seangkatan pergi ret-ret
Untuk merefleksikan dan menemukan jati diri
Katanya

Tiba-tiba sudah bulan Desember
Classmeeting terakhir kami
Yang sebelumnya tak kuanggap menarik

Tiba-tiba libur Natal dan Tahun Baru selesai
Malas-malasan kami ke sekolah
Tapi jadi bersemangat karena teman

Tiba-tiba sudah H-99
Tinggal dua digit lagi
Rasanya baru kemarin aku menginjakkan kaki di sekolah ini
Baru kemarin aku menjadi murid SMA

Tiba-tiba pelajaran tambahan dan praktikum selesai
Berkurang sedikit beban kami
Namun tidak terasa

Tiba-tiba Ujian Akhir Semester berlangsung
Pertama kalinya kami pegang buku Olah Raga
Dan kami mulai prihatin dengan nilai kami

Tiba-tiba Ujian Sekolah dilaksanakan
Terakhir kalinya kami pegang buku yang tidak di- UN - kan
Tetapi kata guru-guru, nilai kami masih kurang memuaskan


Tiba-tiba kami pergi ke Dufan
Bersenang-senang melepas penat
Bersama merajut kenangan

Tiba-tiba Try Out dimulai
Kami belajar sekenanya
Yang penting usaha

Tiba-tiba semua jadi serba terakhir
Hari Kamis terakhir
Hari terakhir belajar di kelas
Foto kelas terakhir dengan seragam putih hijau kotak-kotak
Bahkan mungkin terakhir kalinya kami belajar pelajaran tertentu

Tiba-tiba sudah Ujian Nasional
Kami belajar kok
Kami berusaha

Tiba-tiba Ujian Nasional selesai
Kami berpencar mencari hiburan
Ada juga yang langsung melanjutkan kuliah

Tiba-tiba kami menganggur
Dari sibuk luar biasa
Sampai tak ada kerjaan sama sekali

Tiba-tiba kami sudah tak boleh lagi meminjam buku di perpus
Sedih rasanya
Karena sudah tak dianggap

Tiba-tiba kami akan lulus SMA
Menuju universitas yang berbeda-beda
Namun berjanji untuk tetap bersahabat

Tiba-tiba aku harus berpisah
Dengan kamu

Untungnya aku tidak mencintai kamu tiba-tiba

To : SMA Santa Ursula Jakarta dan Angkatan 2015

I have loved you since the very first day

Jogja 2014

Karena tujuan dari wisata ke Cirebon, Jogja dan Semarang adalah kuliner, foto-fotonya gak terlalu banyak. But, I won't write about the trip, so just enjoy the photos.

Ulangan Terpadu

Hari Jumat ini, kelas 12 sudah menjalani tiga hari Ulangan Terpadu Semester 2. Mari kita bahas satu persatu...

Hari Pertama

•  Bahasa Indonesia : lumayan susah
•  Religiositas : (y)

Hari Kedua

• PKn : (y)
• Biologi : HAHA, gak tau 9 dari 40. Udah ada yang salah gara-gara lupa ngafalin kalo Amfibi ruang jantungnya 3

Hari Ketiga

• Olahraga : Essai nomor 5 nampaknya jawaban gw salah. Harusnya zat tenaga, pembangun sama pengatur, gw malah jawab zat-zat kimia dan fungsinya.
• Matematika : Lebih berkualitas dibandingkan soal kelas 10 dan 11 dulu, gw gak sempet meriksa. Anyway, ada soal integral yang gw gak bisa ngerjainnya, untungnya, soalnya PG. Maka gw menurunkan option jawaban yang ada dan ketemu di option A. Tapi kata Venna jawabannya B. Lalu gw galau dan berpikir sepanjang perjalanan pulang. Ketika nanya ke Cici (Isselin), dia jawab apa. Guess what? JAWABAN KITA SAMAAAAA!!!! KYAAAA!!! And... you know what.... dia milih jawaban A karena dia pake cara yang sama kayak gw! IT'S SISNECTION, BRO!!! Memang saudara seotak.

 Pendapat kawan-kawan seperjuangan :

Masih ada 4 hari lagi... MANGADH GUYS!


Semakin ke sini, gw semakin gak mau lulus. Gw mau tetep di Sanur karena gw bahagia di sini...

Chubby Cheeks!

Chubby cheeks atau pipi tembem sangat terkenal di kalangan cewek-cewek. Gw gak tau sih kenapa gw ngetik kalimat pertama tadi... ._. Hahahahaha efek nulis esai, nih. Pake kalimat pengantar dulu.

Langsung aja ya :
Banyak cewek yang zaman sekarang suka shading pipinya gitu, biar keliatan tirus. Terutama cewek-cewek yang chubby atau tembem. Gw sih sebenernya gak chubby tapi... umm... agak bulet aja gitu mukanya. Iya, deh tembem. Nah berikut ini contoh pipi yang di - shading :

Gw tau lah kalo pipi bisa di-shading, gw kan gaul. Tapi gw tetep aja gak bisa shading pipi gw sendiri. Pernah gw coba shading pake eye shadow coklat (di tangan gw, semua benda jadi multifungsi). Hasilnya? Kayak ada bekas luka gitu di pipi gw. Haft... Harus belajar make up nih.

Jadi, sebenernya gw nulis post ini karena gw nonton film dari G. E. T. Production, yang salah satunya adalah Elvira. Nah, di film singkat yang berjudul 'Puas?' ini, ada scene di mana Diandra (Michelle Tumewu) lagi men-shading pipinya. Lalu, karena kemarin baru aja sin cia, dan gw ketemu sama saudaranya oma gw yang udah tua dan kurus, gw mengambil sebuah kesimpulan.

Sekarang kita ingin menutupi pipi kita yang berisi dan tembem, tapi ketika kita tua nanti dan pipi kita menjadi tirus, kita akan merindukan our chubby cheeks. Lihat, kan, bagaimana sebelumnya kita tidak menyukai suatu hal, tapi suatu saat nanti kita akan merindukannya.

That's it.